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How to Cope with the Loss of a Pet Rock
(Found on some really awesome website with helped me overcome my grief)
Losing a loyal friend is always upsetting. Losing a Pet Rock is even worse, because you have spent so much time with them. They have been your constant companion and trusted friend. You could talk to them, and know that they would never tell anyone what you told them in secret. When they die, make sure they are buried someplace with lots of other rocks, so they will not be lonely.
Steps
- Bury your rock. If your rock has died, find a nice spot in your garden to bury him. If you have an area which contains a lot of other rocks, bury them there. Mark that spot in some way or another - burying an old spoon with the bit you eat off sticking out of the ground is an ideal gravestone.
- Remember your rock. If you have lost your rock, plant a flower in remembrance of them.
- Listen to really depressing music. Don't try to cheer yourself up for at least three days. You will drop back down to reality with a thud. Be really miserable. It is respectful to your rock. Slowly cheer up. That way,you won't get sudden pangs of mourning.
- Begin again. After at least a fortnight you can get a new rock!!!!!
- Classical music can make you really miserable.
- Other things that can make you really miserable include homework, thinking about lost items, best friends who have moved away and how you never gave your rock a good life, and so on.
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